I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
