just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
