I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize