He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
50% drunk capacity currently
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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