dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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