508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
