Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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