And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
