Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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