did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Someone shattered a urinal.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
