I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
