He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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