I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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