brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
how drunk are you?
Several
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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