She is in my trunk
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
