just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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