I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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