i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
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