Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
