wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
