goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
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