she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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