you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We just shotgunned beers for America
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
