I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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