There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
