Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
