took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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