Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
