I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
