Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
