i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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