You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
birth control should be required to get into college
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
