I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
