I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
