Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
