Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
