I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
