If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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