he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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