if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
