I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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