so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Randomize
