I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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