Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Are my feet made of real feet?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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