my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
