i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
