she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize