omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
