If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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