I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize