I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
