i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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