Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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