Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
