ugly people sure do ruin things
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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