By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
