it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
