She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
