sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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